Faith traded in her anger for a life of forgiveness
These past couple of months have been really challenging for me. I was in the Forgiveness 9:15 Connection Class for the last 6 weeks. Many issues were addressed, among them what it truly means to forgive- the question being "Do I want to get well?
After about the 3rd time of hearing the verse out of Ephesians 4:30-32 I realized what the Lord was trying to say to me. The verse starts out with "Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God." After realizing the way I had been grieving the Holy Spirit with my un-forgiveness of multiple people in the past, I couldn't function anymore.
I was paralyzed with Truth that I ignored.
I ignored it because I did not want to deal with it. This is evidence of the disobedience in my heart.
As a result of disobedience in the area of un-forgiveness, bitterness began to grow in my life which led to anger. Anger was one major thing I struggled with a great deal before becoming a believer.
I began putting on a mask that read, "I'm fine on the outside", but in reality on the inside I was a wreck. I began to feel like a person that was not the reflection of Christ.
The following verses were used to get me: 2 Corinthians 5:18-20 talks about being an Ambassador for Christ and being reconciled to Him;
Ephesians 4:32 it says,
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has forgiven you,'; and
Galatians 5:22 talks about character...none of these qualities was I exhibiting.
I was challenged with my priorities and more deeply my integrity in Christ. I began to pray one of my favorite verses, Psalm 139: 23-24,
Search me, oh God,and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting." (Note to self, when praying this, be prepared for God to rock your world.)
After lots of time praying this I felt like it was time to deal face to face with the unforgiveness I had allowed to pile up in my life. I began seeking forgiveness for things I had done from people and God, and forgiving those who I had not forgiven. This was no easy task, some of it involved facing demons from my past which lead to distrust in people, but God's grace and mercy became so clear and almost tangible in each situation of addressing my the offenses in my life.
Talk about experiencing a battle of the flesh and the Spirit. My flesh was saying, "Dont show mercy- its weakness, be mad they hurt you, they dont deserve your forgiveness" and the Spirit was saying, "Forgive as I have forgiven you, love because I first loved you." I began to experience healing, grace and mercy in new ways that I had never really experienced before.
More of Faith's story will be told in the weeks to come. Do you have a story of what God has been doing in your life as a result of the truths that you've discovered? Let us know!